Two years ago today, I was holding our newborn little Carson Alexander Ard, sweet little angel!
The last few years have flown so quickly - in a way that reminds you of those graceful and wise comments from older generations as they visited in his first few hours, warning us of the dangers of falling in love with that new baby smell that shall dissipate before we have a chance to capture it fully.
How right they were! There are still times, after baths, and before bed, where for a few moments I get to snuggle and cuddle my little guys as if they were still those helpless little completely dependent creatures. Yet, here they are, strong, independent, willful, assertive, intelligent, playful and decisive. I couldnt be prouder, but I must admit sometimes I miss the feeling of their complete and utter NEED for mommy!
Although, thats not entirely gone just yet, but as each day, week, month, passes, I find my little baby, wanting to play with his blocks, instead of cuddle and read, or wanting to run around and play tag with brother, instead of help mommy in the kitchen.
Is this how it starts? Before the time comes when I no longer warrant a hug in public, or god forbid, those dreaded unanswered phone calls that boys are so known for in their teens. Sniff. Sniff. Can life slow down just a little bit please?
Luckily for me, the hubbs has been warning me about this for years, and has offered himself and his unconditional love up as a constant and never ending surety, when the affection of my boys inevitably dwindles down to a once a month phone call.
Hopefully, the coming decades will skill me in the art of motherly guilt, so that I can ensure daily devotion! LOL Sure, perhaps a momma's boy isnt all that socially affable, however, the thought of tucking my boys into bed, footie jammies and a warm glass of milk while they are in their 40s sure makes me chuckle. HeHe
Well, on a less depressing note, we cant wait for his little birthday party this weekend! We couldn't be happier that he inherited our absolute LOVE for animals, in a way that Aiden just never really has. He should LOVE Rainforest Cafe! Aiden has been there before, but as with everything animal, he wasnt all that impressed with the atmosphere, haha. Nor the zoo, the aquarium, or the safari's we have taken him on....Carson however, is illuminated by that brilliantly wide eyed wonder at all of Gods creatures! Its incredible to see that LOOK! You know the one, that look of just pure awe.
In honor of his birthday though, we are having a mini-party with just us fab four! Some mini-bacon cheese burgers, fresh fruit salad, french fries, a teenie little cake and a few gifts, when he saw me wrapping a few presents last night he was SO excited and ready to tear into them! Mission accomplished!
I'm proud of myself for being patient as well! One of his gifts, the one I happened to be the most excited about, is a nearly 10' x 6' Ball pit, with multiple games and accessories! It was in stock at the beginning of the week, but sadly when Zane went to pick it up yesterday, it was gone....and unavailable online.......and out of stock at Target.....and not carried at Walmart....or Toys R Us. As you can imagine, I was frantic, because I just HAD to have this thing!
Luckily, I found it online from a direct from the manufacturer site, and it will be here late, but it will be here. However, in this circumstance, generally I would be running frantic to find a substitute, probably 3x more expensive with lesser quality JUST to have it in time! But...I sucked it up, and realized that it was worth the wait to get him (well...them) something fabulous!
Hooray for patience! Not my finest point, and I have to say, its thanks to big brother Army. Learning to accept things out of my control has given me a new sense of calm and understanding that was lacking in previous years when it came to plans falling apart. LOL Thanks Army! <3
Speaking of which, less than 3 months until my hubbs ships off again, which....I have mixed feelings about. Part of me is looking forward to him finally getting done with this next phase of training and part of me is remembering what it was like to be without him for 14 weeks....and heres another 16+ weeks straight ahead. Although, considering I know so many women whose husbands are deployed, I dont really feel like I will have a right to be that sad about being away, but whether its a week, a month, or a year, absence of the one you love is absence. Duration matters, but it still saddens me to be away.
In the meantime, we are having a great time spending as much quality time together as a family! Daddy did however get a promotion at work, so he's been a little busier, but I see him loving the thrill and excitement of being able to train, inspire and motivate others from a managerial standpoint, and that spark is amazing to see for him!
Not to mention with him away, the house remains spic and span 99.9% of the time! I dont know how it happens, I run to the grocery store for an hour and come back to tornado alley, but I can stay home with the kids all day, running around, playing games, and when he comes home the house is spotless give or take a toy or two that has been removed from any of the play areas. High five to mothers everywhere, its a gift. :)
Anyway, enough of my rambling, off to wake the boys and start them off to a fantastic day! I feel so blessed to have such an amazing little family, incredible little boys who are sweet and perfect, and an outstanding husband who is forever loving, supportive and my daily inspiration!
Thank you God, I couldnt have wished for a better life, because I never would have come close to imagining this level of serenity available to me on earth!
Make it a blessed day! <3